


Some Things Come and Go (But I'll Always Be Here)

by allthingsavenger



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Christmas, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2014-04-24
Packaged: 2017-11-21 17:13:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/600182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthingsavenger/pseuds/allthingsavenger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers tower is never quiet. If there are no robots running rampant, there are food fights on a scale which would make any sane person cringe. It's layer after layer of crazy and crazy. But isn't that what family is?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Tony ducks too late as he skids around the corner, and a glob of mashed potato hits him square in the face. Clint's guffaw mocks him as he swerves past the archer and into the hallway. He wipes the potato off his face and instead of flicking it somewhere on the floor, he sticks a finger in his mouth. It tastes surprisingly good.

"That's disgusting," Natasha's voice says behind him before a can of tomatoes is emptied on his head. Before he can turn around, the assassin dances off, her amused chuckle wafting back to where he is.

"Eww," he whines as the red liquid and clumps of vegetable slide down his face and all over his shirt. Mortified, the billionaire tries shaking off the food, bits of tomato ending up all over the floor. Steve turns the corner and sees Tony. He's brandishing a creampie in his hand like a weapon. Tony groans and braces himself for the inevitable faceful of food. To his surprise, it doesn't happen.

Instead, Steve starts laughing. Tony scowls because Steve is laughing  _at_  him. Tony still has a container of guacamole in his hand and he makes no hesitation in lobbing it at the super-soldier. It hits Steve on his shoulder because he is doubled over laughing.

Steve promptly stops laughing.

"Gross," he sulks, completely irked out by the sloppy mess sliding down his arm. This time it's Tony's turn to laugh at the scandalized look on Steve's face and he laughs until he can feel tears sliding down his cheeks. He stops when Steve threatens him by waving around the pie.

"Okay, okay, truce!" he declares to stop the creampie from being launched at him. Steve considers him for a moment, his eyes fixed on Tony's face to determine whether he can be trusted or not. Apparently he can be because Steve extends a hand which Tony eagerly shakes. After he releases Steve's hand, the super-soldier side eyes the mixture of tomato juice, potato and guacamole that is now all over his hand.

Tony shrugs at him.

"Part of the terms and conditions," he states matter-of-factly, a smirk plastered on his face. Steve's eye twitches.

Bruce almost hits Tony as he comes slipping and sliding on the tomato all over the floor. Actually, he  _does_  hit Tony. Luckily for Bruce, Tony absorbs most of the shock. Unluckily for Tony, he absorbs most of the shock. And goes flying into Steve. And gets a sackful of whatever Bruce was carrying. Unfortunately for  _everyone_ , Bruce was carrying a sack of flour.

Tony groans as he shoves Bruce off of him. Steve groans as a cloud of flour settles on his face.

Bruce gets up and looks at the other two. He smiles sheepishly.

"Uh, sorry, I guess?" he sort of asks nobody before running for his life.

"Ugh," says Tony as he rolls off Steve and tries to stand up. He looks down at his shirt and shorts and winces because they are completely covered in unsightly clumps of food and flour. Steve grimaces in agreement as he scrutinizes the state of his own clothing.

"Need more ammo," says Tony, not waiting to be the target of more attacks and heads towards the dining room where the food is meant to be stockpiled. Steve stands and follows him, sticking to the walls. They don't meet any opposition until they reach the dining table. Tony groans. Steve peeks into the dining room and groans. Thor is standing at the table, facing the doorway they're hidden behind.

"Fuck you, Thor!" curses Tony under his breath. Steve frowns at him with a disapproving look. Thor stands triumphantly in the dining room, a half-eaten pop-tart in one hand and a humongous slab of jelly in the other. Tony doesn't even know how he can even hold jelly.

"How are we going to get to the food?" asks Steve, looking at Tony as if he has all the answers.

"Don't look at me like I know," he snaps back. After a minute of contemplation, he shoots Steve a sullen look.

"The way I see it, we can either go around and try to sneak up from the other door," he says, pointing with his finger, "or we can charge in screaming like banshees and grab as much food as we can before getting the hell out of there."

Steve thinks for a moment.

"Jelly isn't that bad I guess," he says finally. Tony's eye twitches.

"On the count of three?" says Steve. Tony nods.

"One."

Tony eyes Thor shoving pop-tarts into his mouth.

"Two."

Steve takes a deep breath and Tony follows suit.

"Three!"

The super-soldier and billionaire charge into the room, screeching like a pair of particularly crazed walruses. Thor drops the pop-tart in shock and then Steve crashes into him. Thor is knocked over and a moment later, his face submerges itself into the massive slab of jelly he was holding only a minute ago. Tony collides with the table and winds himself for a few precious seconds during which Thor manages to pulls his head out of the jelly slab.

"Tony!" shouts Steve as he grabs everything he can get his hands on and gets the hell out of there. Tony swipes an armful of food but doesn't make it out of the room quite fast enough.

A custard tart slides uncomfortably down his back as the pair take stock of their ammunition.

Tony grins.

"We got an awesome stash," he proclaims happily and high-fives Steve.

Their stash consists a total of:

\- a large bottle of Diet Coke

\- a bottle of barbecue sauce

\- a can of whipped cream

\- a tub of yoghurt

\- a small tube of Mentos

\- a bunch of grapes

\- two jam tarts

Even Steve is pleasantly surprised by their hoard. The grapes are a bit squished because of the rush they were in to get away from Thor.

Tony gives Steve a maniacal grin.

"Steeeeeve. Mentos and Diet Coke. Do you know what that means?"

Steve raises an eyebrow.

"Tsk tsk," chides Tony. "If you drop a Mentos in Diet Coke it practically explodes."

Steve's features brighten, a grin splitting his face from ear to ear.

Tony grabs the bunch of grapes in one hand and the bottle of Coke in the other. He shoves the Mentos in his pocket before grabbing a jam tart.

Steve tucks the tub of yoghurt and barbecue sauce under one arm and grabs the other jam tart. With his free hand, Steve vigorously shakes up the whipped cream and holds it out at arms length, aiming it cautiously away from his body as if it's about to spontaneously explode or something.

"It's not going to spontaneously explode or something," says Tony helpfully.

They edge carefully around the corner, Steve's can of whipped cream held at the ready as Tony pops a grape in his mouth.

Bruce also  _tries_  to edge around the corner and gets a face full of cream for his efforts.

"ARRRRGGGGHHH," he howls whilst sinking to his knees.

Tony takes this as an invitation to arrange the jam tart neatly on Bruce's head, (jam side down) with a neatly balanced squished grape on top for extra measure. Whipping out his Stark-phone, Tony snaps a photo of the unfortunate scientist. Steve doubles over, sob-like laughs shaking his body.

Bruce spits cream from his mouth and wipes his face with the back of his hand. He glares laser beams at Tony and Steve as they fall about screaming with laughter.

"It look like-" chokes Tony, clutching his sides in between hysterical bouts of laughter.

"Like a hat!" finishes Steve for him and the super-soldier clutches onto Tony for balance while Bruce continues his attempt to incinerate them both with just the power of his eyes.

Reaching a hand up gingerly, the scientist pats his head and a traumatised expression crosses his face as his fingers make contact with the remains of the grape and the jam all over his hair. He pulls the tart from his head and examines it but before he can return the favour, Tony and Steve have stumbled out of his reach like a pair of particularly drunken hoboes.

"I hate you both," he deadpans but the only response he gets is a fresh bout of laughter from around the corner.

"Did you see the look on his face?" Tony wheezes in between gasping for breath and wiping his eyes. Steve nods and Tony can't help but notice the crinkle around his eyes and the way they light up when he laughs.

"JARVIS, play some music," Tony says.

"What kind of music?" the AI asks him.

After a moment of musing, Tony grins, a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Some obnoxious pop!" he shouts gleefully. Steve matches his grin when they recognise the start of 'Call Me Maybe' pumping through the speakers.

"I thought you hated this song."

"I do," says Tony.

_I threw a wish in the well, don't ask me I'll never tell, I looked to you as it fell and now you're in my way._

They practically belt it at the top of their lungs, which in hindsight, isn't the best way of keeping their cover, but it doesn't really matter since everyone else is belting it too.

Which luckily for them and unluckily for Clint, is how they find him. Clint's singing can be heard on the whole level, which is a huge feat considering the size of the floor. Like moths drawn to a light, the Avengers are drawn to Clint and his horrible singing.

Tony and Steve edge down the hallway leading to Clint's obnoxiously loud voice, and Steve spots Bruce heading in the same direction. As it happens, there happens to be five entrances to the room Clint is occupying.

The super-soldier and billionaire sneak down one and they can spot Bruce in another. Thor doesn't even try to be quiet as he parades down a hallway, brandishing a bucket of half-set Jell-O in his hands. Neither Steve nor Tony have any doubt that Natasha is in the last corridor. Which leaves Clint nowhere to run because the only other exit he can take is the elevator which he really can't take anyway considering that their game is confined to this level and the elevator and all other floors are out-of-bounds.

Clint is oblivious, or at least, he  _appears_  to be. As if on cue, the chorus blasts over the speakers.

_Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me maybe?_

And then it all just goes to hell.


	2. Chapter 2

Everyone charges at Clint and it really doesn't come as a big surprise to anyone that  _shit goes down._

Thor skids into the room, flailing his arms in an attempt to stop himself from colliding with something. He swings the bucket of Jell-O, stopping the motion abruptly and everyone watches as the sticky mess flies through the air and time seems to slow for a minute. Then the muscles on Clint's legs flex as he dives out of the way and not a second too late as the flying mass soars past where he was standing and explodes all over  _everything_. Bits of the half-set goo coat the floor and drip down the walls in a disturbing mix of bright yellows, reds and greens.

_It's hard to look right, at you baby, but here's my number, so call me maybe._

Bruce launches a ripped sack of flour (no one even  _knows_  where he's getting it all) and the fabric comes apart as it's flying through the air, the contents spilling in every which way before showering the unfortunate occupants of the room.

Steve opens fire with his tub of yoghurt which sails in a graceful arc through the air and hits Thor square in the side of the face. Tony rips the Mentos package open daintily before he shoves the whole tube past the neck of the bottle and enters the room pointing the reacting liquid away from him. A demented grin plasters itself onto his face as the frothing drink shoots out in the likeness of a flame-thrower and coats the whole room.

Clint's dive brings him to his stashed treasures and he enters the fray with an improvised toothpick bow which he uses to fling M&M's at everyone's heads.

_I beg and borrow and steal, have foresight and it's real, I didn't know I would feel it, but it's in my way._

Natasha enters gracefully in a slide neatly missing the flying sack of flour and wielding two cans of whipped cream. Before a single person can blink, the  _fffshhhhhh_  of the can can be heard and Bruce gets a face(and mouth)ful of cream. Thor gets his share next, then Clint. Tony tries to use Steve as a meat shield. Steve stands his ground and even lifts up his own can of cream. Somehow, he manages not only to get a face of cream from Natasha, but ends up squeezing the nozzle at himself. Tony doesn't even try to defend himself when she gets to him, not that he has a chance to react.

The whole room splutters in unison, shaking off the cream like dogs shaking off water. Natasha has made it to the other side of the room and everyone collectively blinks at her as she perches delicately on top of a cabinet, completely and utterly devoid of any foodstuffs.

_Hot night, wind was blowin' where you think you're going, baby?_

Tony's diet coke continues to rain down upon all and everyone snaps back into the food fight as if nothing had happened. Thor didn't bring anything except the bucket of Jell-O and he's looking confused as if he didn't really think his plan through very well. Which, he probably didn't.

Bruce busies himself with another sack of flour which he had hidden somewhere (okay  _seriously_  where is he getting all this).

Steve has squeezed the bottle of barbecue sauce  _way_  too hard and it's exploded, dumping excessive amounts of sauce on everything within a ten foot radius of him. His face looks traumatized which is probably just a  _bit_  too funny because Tony can't help but fail at holding back a laugh which might actually have been a sob. Whatever. His diet coke is still fizzling but it looks like it's losing power.

Clint has run out of M&M's which doesn't faze him at all, not one bit. He picks up a yellow bucket which causes everyone to collectively groan. With a war cry, Clint begins flinging handfuls of bananas which have gone soft and mushy, his aim just a  _little_  too accurate for the rest of the team's liking.

Natasha judges the hell out of them all. She also notices the light flashing above the elevator, an observation which goes unnoticed by everyone else. Probably because it's covered in jelly, flour and barbecue sauce.

_Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me, maybe?_

Bruce's sack of flour finds its mark just above the elevator a second before it  _dings_. The doors slide open silently revealing The Master Poker-Face that belongs to Coulson. His expressions doesn't change when the jam tart flies from Steve's hand and hits Clint in the face. Nor does he blink when Tony slips in an unsightly puddle of diet coke whilst trying to throw a handful of grapes and ending up on the floor with said grapes hitting his own face and scattering all over the floor. He doesn't wince when Clint's handful of banana ends up all over his suit and he doesn't flinch when Steve's stream of whipped cream travels in wild arcs and deposits half the can in his hair and clothing.

_It's hard to look right, at you baby, but here's my number, so call me, maybe?_

Steve realises Coulson standing in the elevator first. He freezes, taking in first the freakish poker-face and then the food on his impeccable suit.

"Uh," he articulates. Natasha beats Coulson in raising an eyebrow.

Bruce notices next and has the decency to look ashamed. Tony looks up from his spot on the floor and winces. "Aw shiiiiiiii...t."

Clint's arm stops dead halfway through throwing a handful of mush and it lands with a condemning  _plop_  on Coulson's shoe. Coulson gives him a judging look.

"What's up, buttercup?" says Clint, and gives Coulson his absolute best shit-eating grin. Coulson maintains The Master Poker-Face as flour billows down around them and settles over everything, giving the whole room a wintry Christmas atmosphere.

_Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me, maybe?_

Clint makes a  _call me_  motion with his hand at Coulson before he turns and bolts out of the room, heels kicking up mush, coke, flour and jelly as he runs for his life.

There is an awkward silence before Tony says "Uh, Jarvis?" and the AI lowers the volume of the speakers and fades out the song.

Coulson looks faintly amused.

"We were, um, we..." Steve begins, then pauses and shuffles his feet as a tinge creeps into his complexion. Bruce examines a blob of jelly at his feet. Tony swallows.

"Fury is calling you in on an op," Coulson deadpans. The team blink at each other and jump when Natasha hops down from the cabinet she's still perched on and strides over to the elevator. The rest of them blink a few more times before stumbling over each other to the elevator whilst attempting to inconspicuously shake food off themselves. Tony pauses for a while, dazed before snapping back to reality.

"Uh, Jarvis, tell Clint to get back here," he mumbles and they wait a minute before Clint pokes his head into the room. After confirming that Coulson isn't going to throttle him and fix his head on a stick, he skips over to join the others, but not before throwing a very cheery wink in the SHIELD agent's direction. If he wasn't so scared of Coulson's freakish calm, Tony would've laughed.

* * *

Fury rambles on about stuff no one really cares about for a period of time that everyone thinks is a real overkill. It's not that the Avengers can't save the world or don't want to save the world, but when Fury goes on about missions that are really way too insignificant the Avengers just don't give a stuff. Because Fury can go and call in the Fantastic Four or Xavier's X-Men or even Spiderman. Or if he really wants he can go stand on the streets with a rocket-launcher and everyone else can hope for the best.

So it's really no one's fault that the Avengers have gotten into the habit of just walking out on Fury when he tries to assign them with something that is really pointless. And as it happens, Steve knows it's nothing important since their director has been going on about some extremely measly thing for more than ten minutes now and if it was even remotely world-threatening he would have screamed and glared (with his One Evil Eye as Tony calls it) at them and ordered them out in the field by now.

So when everyone turns to Steve and gives him an expectant look, the super-soldier sighs and gives Fury a collected look before the pushes back his chair and exits the room. The Avengers file out behind him. Steve can feel Fury's enraged glare boring into his skull the whole way out and after a moments silence he hears the director's infuriated voice.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! YOU LAZY MOTHERFUCKERS!"

Steve tunes out of his frequency. So does everyone else except maybe Clint because he enjoys listening to Fury furiously raging at them.

Which is how they end up sprawled over each other on the couch at Avengers tower while the television plays a live coverage of the Fantastic Four taking care of some "catastrophe" which turns out to be really disappointing. They flop around drained of energy because Steve insisted they clean up the majority of the level before they get the cleaners to take care of the rest because "superhero food fights aren't something cleaners should have to deal with."

"Ugh, kill me now," Tony grumbles from underneath a pile of limbs.

Clint's answer drifts to him from the other side of the couch.

"I would, but I'm too tired. Go bother Steve."

Steve shifts and a chorus of voices protest the movement.

"If you don't be quiet I'll make you both go help the cleaners."

There's no reply because neither Tony nor Clint would take a risk like that.


	3. Chapter 3

The first of December dawns bright and chilly. Christmas spirit is in the air as the Avengers tromp around the tower and head up to breakfast in the common room. Tony blinks and tries to shake off his fatigue. Entering the kitchen, Tony almost trips over the step in his half-asleep state. He makes a beeline for the coffee machine which has been reliably made by Steve. He doesn't bother to wait for the coffee to cool before he takes a monstrous sip of the beverage and properly wakes up.

Steve and Clint are cooking up a storm in the kitchen, smells of a delicous breakfast already wafting over to make Tony's stomach growl. A second glance reveals Coulson at the cooktop, expertly flipping omeletes up to 3 feet in the air without spilling a drop of oil.

Tony lets out a huge yawn and stretches his arms. One of his hands makes contact with Steve's cheek and he freezes for a split second before fixing a nonchalant grin on his face.

"What's up, buttercup?" he asks, mimicking Clint's quip the day before. Steve gives him an exasperated but fond smile.

"Look who's over there," he says, pointing past the counter-top and Tony turns around, completely mystified. He stifles another yawn as he looks over. A blond figure sits at the table, reading through a stack of papers.

"Pepper!" exclaims Tony and the surprise in his tone makes her chuckle as she looks up.

"Who else?" she asks him, grinning and he grins right back at her.

"What's up, buttercup?" he asks her and from the kitchen he hears Clint's voice pout, "okay, that line is being used  _way_  too much." Tony does a good job of ignoring him and goes to sit down opposite Pepper.

"Uh, so being serious for a moment, what makes you come here?" he asks, more than a hint of anxiety playing through in his voice.

Pepper laughs. "Relax Tony, I'm not here because of some new disaster that's almost certainly your fault." Tony doesn't look convinced so she gives him a pointed stare. He doesn't let up after a minute at which point Pepper sighs. "The company isn't crashing and burning, Malibu hasn't blown up yet, there hasn't been an uprising of evil mutated cannibal clown giraffes and it isn't the apocalypse," She pauses for a second, thoughtful, before adding "yet."

"And uh-" Tony starts before Pepper cuts him off. "And your bots haven't planned a hostile takeover of the world." Tony looks relieved which makes everyone in the room laugh.

"So, uh, why  _are_  you here?" he asks, then hastily adds, "not that I mean, not that I don't want to see you or anything, I just meant, uh, that-" Pepper's laugh cuts him off and he scowls.

"I'm here, Tony, because it's the first of December."

Tony scowls at her tone before answering. "Uh, so?"

"So, Christmas is in twenty five days." Tony frowns at this revelation.

"Huh," he concludes eventually.

"Huh indeed," nods Pepper in what Tony thinks is an offensively mocking tone but he doesn't call her out on it because his muddled brain hasn't fully decrypted what exactly is going on just yet.

"Jane and Darcy are coming over in a few minutes to pick out names for Secret Santa," Pepper says slowly before she stops, waiting for the information to sink in.

Tony gives her a blank look, then after a moment, "oh, right, Christmas presents for uh... Christmas... right. Haha right, yeah." All in all, it's probably the most awkward sentance anyone's ever heard from Tony's mouth.

"I uh, blame the coffee," he coughs, "because it hasn't reached my brain yet. In, like, a metaphorical sense because I mean, coffee shouldn't actually  _reach_ your brain if you know what I mean."

He hastily brings the cup to his lips and takes a large gulp before he can spew any more weird shit.

"We know what you mean," Steve reassures him from behind the counter-top which earns him one of Tony's devastatingly charming winks. Steve shakes his head fondly. At least, Tony  _thinks_ that it's fond. One can hope.

Bruce enters the kitchen looking like he hasn't really woken up yet, which he almost certainly  _hasn't_  considering the complete lack of coffee. He doesn't look at anyone, doesn't say hi to anyone and most certainly doesn't take any interest whatsoever in anyone as he sidles past Clint, Coulson and Steve and pours himself a cup of caffeine, almost spilling the hot liquid all over himself when he yawns. After blowing steam everywhere for a minute, Bruce takes a tentative sip and sighs. He still hasn't noticed anyone else because of the steam obscuring his vision. His glasses clear slowly and he starts when he sees Coulson in the kitchen.

"Ugh, morning guys," he says between sips of coffee. He sees Pepper and raises his eyebrows for a moment before comprehension crosses over his features.

"Ah, organising Christmas, Pepper?" he asks. Pepper grins in agreement before adding, much to Tony's disapproval, "good to see Christmas is remembered by  _some_  in this place."

Natasha arrives next, right on the dot at seven o'clock like she does every day.

"Secret Santa?" she determines and no one can even be bothered to be surprised. Bruce gives here a nod and she gives him a rare smile, just a slight quirk of the lips. Tony raises an eyebrow then quickly un-raises it when Natasha turns to glare at him. Everyone else makes an effort to keep their faces expressionless.

Jane and Darcy turn up in the midst of breakfast where they find Clint and Tony happily bantering, although their bantering consists of wild arm-waving and dangerous looking coffee-cup-shaking. Thor is apparently still sleeping. Jane sighs and says she'll go wake him up. No one doubts her abilities because what she lacks in size, Jane makes up in personality.

After more coffee-cup-shaking and wild arm-waving, Jane returns telling everyone that Thor will be coming shortly. When he  _does_  arrive, half the table shouts and everyone in the room averts their eyes so they don't have to see the Asgardian  _junk_ that Thor doesn't make an effort to cover up because he apparently thinks it's okay to walk around naked.

Jane doesn't take her hand off her eyes when she sighs and points at Thor.

"Thor! Go and put on some clothes. It's indecent to walk around in public or a common area  _naked_ and I do not want to have to tell you this one more time."

Thor looks affronted by everyone's reactions and slinks back to him room to put on some clothing. He comes back in and everyone flinches before realising that he's decent.

It takes a whole hour of goofing around before everyone is awake and cooperative enough to pick names out of a Christmas stocking that Pepper pulls out of nowhere. She writes down everyone's names in her neat textbook writing and folds the slips of paper up into quarters. They pass around the stocking and everyone shakes it vigorously. The amount of times it hits someone on the head might not be just an accident either considering the amount of fun they really shouldn't be having shaking a stocking.

The stocking ends up with Jane and she reaches her hand in then jumps about a foot into the air when the Avengers' alarm goes off. Clint and Tony groan melodramatically which earns them both smacks in the head, a merciless one from Coulson and more of a fond pat from Steve respectively.

"You are all children," Pepper sighs and Clint and Tony blow raspberries at her, not taking the hint when they get another two smacks upside the head.

Steve sighs. "Let's go see what Fury wants, I guess."

There is a complete lack of enthusiasm as they all file into the elevator, the rest of the group having decided that they'd like to come along. Pepper snatches the stocking with a rather miffed look on her face. They do a pretty good job of not complaining on the way to SHIELD. Except for Clint and Tony who don't even pretend to make an effort and have to be practically dragged halfway there.

Fury glares at them all with his eye when they file in, dubbed the Glare Of Doom by Tony. Clint yawns in his face. Pepper sighs and then sighs again when she realises that she seems to be doing a lot of that lately.

Fury doesn't wait for them to sit down.

"A sudden power source made an appearance near the Avengers tower and we suspect that it is Loki."

Thor perks up at the mention of his brother. Clint and Tony roll their eyes, Steve and Coulson remain expressionless, Bruce looks tired and Natasha looks bored. Pepper sighs.

"Where is he now?" Thor asks and Fury turns his Glare Of Doom to the Asgardian.

"We're not sure but the last we saw it was heading towards the Avengers tower so I suggest you get back there as soon as possible."

"What the fuck, why didn't you just tell us this when we were  _at_  the Avengers tower?" complains Tony and Fury does some sort of grin which is absolutely terrifying.

"Because I like to piss you mother-fuckers off," he says before waving his hand dismissively. Tony decides that he  _really_  does not like the director. Not that, on further reflection, he ever did but still.

They exit with the same amount of enthusiasm as when they entered, except for Thor who looks considerably more animated than before. Fury shouts down the corridor after them, "and I don't give a fuck what you do with that mother fucker just stay out of my face and don't contact me."

The trip back to the tower is remarkably short due to Thor's enthusiasm and insistence on getting their faster so that "Loki doesn't eat all my pop-tarts." What the heck. The point is, they get back to the tower in time to see Loki sun baking in a nest of tinsel on the rooftop.

"What the heck," is the first thing that comes out of Tony's mouth. Thor reaches over to hug Loki which prompts a muffled "Oof, gerroff me you big oaf!" from the depths of his embrace.

No one makes a move to attack Loki or grab him, partly because of the fact that he doesn't look particularly threatening when he's being suffocated by Thor, partly because no one could care less and partly because it's too close to Christmas for anyone to feel like doing anything except for lying around and getting presents and being nice to everyone.

Loki manages to escape Thor's smothering hug and shoves his brother away half-heartedly. The prankster yawns widely before picking up his tinsel and heading past the others down to the kitchen. As he leaves, Loki turns and calls back over his shoulder, "Oh, right, Merry Christmas," and clicks his fingers, faint green sparks playing at the fingertips, before he adds, "I'll just be staying for Christmas."

"What the fuck just happened?" Clint gapes as soon as Loki's gone. No one says anything, preferring to just stare after him.

"Oh, what the hell," Tony says and throws his hands up in the air, shaking his head. He makes to head back down before remembering Loki's magic tricks and turns, suppressing a groan. Sunlight winks over streams of tinsel looping over and around the tower, now completely outfitted for the holiday season. Tony's eyebrows brush his hairline in surprise.

"Not bad," he hears Bruce comment and grins back at the others.

"Yeah, none of last year's fiasco."

Everyone winces in memory of last year's fiasco. Everyone also takes a mental note not to ever,  _ever_  mention last year's fiasco.

Pepper looks rather cheerful as she holds up the stocking. "The more the merrier!" she says which prompts everyone to return to the kitchen where Loki is lying across two chairs and indulging in a cup of morning coffee. Natasha shoves his feet off of her chair before elegantly seating herself. Pepper sets about writing Loki's name on a piece of paper before the stocking is passed around (again) to be shaken up by everyone. The amount of enthusiasm with which Thor shakes it worries everyone not only because there's a high chance that it's going to explode but also about Thor's mental stability.

This time Coulson goes first because he's "got somewhere to be five minutes ago." He picks a name out of the stocking and reads it, all the while maintaining The Master Poker-Face as he pockets the slip of paper, smacks Clint upside the head and leaves like he's got somewhere to be five minutes ago.

Everyone watches him with equally bored expressions. Clint goes next and when he reads the name, let's out a whoop and does a jig around the table. Pepper's re-evaluating the decision to let Clint participate. Bruce gets it next and he just smiles when he reads the name before passing it on. Natasha continues to look bored as she reads the name and pockets it. Jane tries to hide her smile as she passes the stocking to Thor who takes three minutes shuffling around the paper before he takes out a whole handful and has to put them back. He finally understands what he's supposed to do after some explaining on Jane's part, something which no one understands the necessity of because they did the exact same thing last year. Loki picks a slip and pockets it without looking at the name, Darcy raises an eyebrow, Pepper maintains a poker-face, Steve bites his lip and tries to keep his face completely blank and when Tony gets the stocking, he plays the drama-queen and makes a show of shuffling around the  _one_  slip of paper before pulling it out with a flourish and dramatically dying when he reads the name.

Pepper sighs. Clint does some weird jig which looks painfully like a mentally unstable cow with a broken leg. Thor looks confused. Loki looks sceptical. Natasha judges the hell out of everyone. Tony continues to dramatically die. Steve bites back his smile and tries to look stern. Whether they'll admit it or not, everyone is pretty used to the amount of crazy permanently present in the Avengers tower and no one wants it to change. Although, the partially sane people really hope that they'll live to see the New Year.


	4. Chapter 4

Tony strokes his beard in what he hopes is a wise-old-man fashion and stares at the name printed in Pepper's immaculate handwriting. The solid lines which spell out  _Phil Coulson_  stare back at him, unyielding. The sound of the workshop door opening makes him look up to see Steve sliding inside, a book clutched in his hand. He mirrors Steve's lopsided grin.

"Figured out what you're getting your person?" he asks and Tony grimaces.

"Nah, I'm still trying to think of something," he says as Dummy perks up from his charging station and wheels over to nudge Steve's hand. Steve pats Dummy affectionately. "Me too," he says and sits down on one of the stools, stroking Dummy's support strut with a thoughtful expression on his face. Tony stares for a moment longer at the slip of paper before tucking it into his pocket and stretching his arms. He points a finger at Steve's book.

"A book? With pages? Really?" he smirks. "How quaint."

Steve sighs and shakes his head, but he doesn't turn away fast enough and Tony manages to catch his smile. "I like the smell of books, Tony, and I like the feeling of turning pages." Tony stands from the couch and walks over to where Steve is sitting and arches his eyebrows. "You like the  _smell_  of books? I could just buy you a perfume that smells like books. They made one, you know. For people who, uh, like the smell of books. Like you. You could spray it on everything."

Steve makes a face which really shouldn't be cute, but it is. It's very cute. "It's different," he says finally and slides a finger down the spine of the book.

Tony moves to sit down next to him, kicking his feet up onto the footrest on Steve's chair and leans his head back on his open hands. He doesn't say anything, just looks at Steve expectantly. Steve stares at him for a moment from beneath his ridiculously long eyelashes before fixing him with a contemplative look.

"Well, I guess I just like the weight of a book in my hands. It's nice and solid and it feels-" Steve blinks away before looking back at Tony and his stunning blue eyes make Tony's breath catch for a second. "Well... real."

Tony considers him, eyes taking in Steve's shoulders, the way he sits, the sincerity in his eyes and posture and he understands. "Something to remind you-" he stops, not sure how to say what he means but Steve nods and he doesn't need to finish. They lapse into a comfortable silence and for an instant, everything seems alright in the world.

Tony breaks the silence with a mischievous grin, asking "so who'd you get?" Steve matches his grin and shakes his head in fond exasperation. "You're not getting it out of me, Tony. No matter how much you ask."

Tony stares at him and purses his lips. "Fine, Steve. But believe me, I will find out," he says and smirks. Steve rolls his eyes, "we'll see about that, Tony." They stare at each other in a silent contest before Steve backs off, blinking away, a shy smile pulling up the corners of his mouth. "Not gonna just tell you, nope," he says and Tony picks up his feet, spinning in a circle on the stool.

"Alright, alright, I'll get it out of you later anyhow. For now, I need ideas." The genius' eyebrows pull together in a frown. "What can I do, what can I do?" he mutters to himself. Steve's face appears thoughtful as he worries his bottom lip.

"It's hard, isn't it?" he asks and Tony nods in agreement.

"It has to be something that they don't have, something that they can't just buy and something that they'd need, or want or something they'd find happiness in. Something that would  _just_ be for that person. Something..." Steve trails off, head cradled in his large palms and Tony sees his body shift a second before he looks up, eyes dancing. A cautious smile plays across Tony's lips as an idea sparks in his own mind.

"I think I... have an idea. What about you?"

Steve smiles at him as he gets up. "I think so too," he says and tucks the stool beneath the workbench before heading out of the workshop, Dummy trailing behind him until he gives the bot an affectionate pat. "See you in a bit, I'm going to go work on it."

"Me too," Tony answers, already spinning around to face the workbench, fingers reaching out to dance across the cool glass of the upright tablet. He hears the click of the door closing as Steve leaves and looks up for a second to watch the back of the retreating man. "Jarvis? Can you open a new project file? Call it... Secret Santa."

"Certainly, sir."

Steve moves out of sight and Tony turns back to the tablet, pinching a brand new set of schematics and adding components with subtle flicks of his fingers and wrist. He studies the electronic veins flowing to the tips of his fingers and makes some minute adjustments.

"Now we're getting somewhere."

"Sir?"

"Hmm?"

"Captain Rogers wants to remind you to sleep."

"Uh huh, what time is it?"

"3:27am, sir."

Tony groans, pulling at the goggles on his face. "Ugh, is the coffee on?"

"It is now, sir."

Joints pop and Tony makes a pained face as he stretches his body, cramped muscles screaming blue murder at his brain. A huge yawn finds it's way past his throat and he pin-wheels his arms, trying to get some blood flow back into them. After standing around with a lost expression on his face, Tony stumbles outside the workshop and up the stairs, hitting the button for the elevator. It takes him a second to register the  _ding_  and when it arrives at the kitchen, he shuffles in a disorientated line towards the coffee machine.

"Did I put the coffee on?" he muses before pouring some into his mug, hands covering the Stark Industries logo printed on the side. He sits down at the table, hands cupping the mug and absorbing the warmth offered by the hot beverage. He doesn't drink, savouring the smell of good caffeine and breathes deeply, a sigh escaping his lips as he exhales.

"Hey, Tony."

Tony snaps awake as he sees Steve's silhouette in the doorway, all muscle and strength leaning against the frame.

He manages an "uh, hey," and a sheepish smile before Steve heads over, pouring himself a cup of coffee and sitting down opposite Tony. Steve gives him a tired smile. "Still up, then."

"Still up," Tony agrees, taking a sip. "Working on, uh, the Secret Santa project."

Steve chuckles, and Tony can see the movement in the darkness. "I was too, it's taking a while, and well, I'd rather work than sleep."

It takes a moment for the words to sink in, and Tony narrows his eyes. "Wait, you'd rather work than sleep? But you're always telling me to sleep."

Steve gives him a funny look, and god, Tony wishes he could decipher it but between sleep deprivation and caffeine deficiency, his muddled brain can't really decipher anything.

"It's just, I have trouble... sleeping sometimes, I guess." Steve's voice is quiet, wary and Tony recognises the drop in his shoulders.

He peers at the larger man through the darkness, the arc reactor throwing blue light across Steve's face and sighs. "Me too, I have nightmares and insomnia is like my second best friend."

Steve takes a long drink from his mug, and Tony can see the rise and fall of his chest. He looks up after a second, brows bunched together in concentration. "Well then, who's your first best friend?"

Tony frowns into his drink, fatigue pulling his mind out of focus. "Uh, you, Steve."

Steve looks like he's half asleep and his reply doesn't come for a few seconds. "You're mine too, Tony."

The laugh comes as a surprise to both of them, Tony's eyes crinkling in mirth. "I think, I think we both already knew that, right?"

"Right," says Steve, and his smile is genuine as they both finish their coffee.

"Movie?" he asks.

"Movie," Tony agrees and moves slowly over to the couch, plonking himself down onto the soft cushions. "Steve, have you watched 'Finding Nemo' yet?"

Steve shakes his head as he sits down next to Tony. "Jarvis?"

The movie flickers to life on screen and Tony settles into the couch, savouring the softness of the cushions against his sore back. They barely get past the Pixar logo when Tony yawns. He's vaguely aware of something solid cushioning his head, but he doesn't have time to ponder whether or not it's Steve's shoulder before he's out like a light, exhaustion dragging him into unconsciousness.

* * *

Something soft hits Tony's face with more force than necessary and he jerks awake, jolting upright just in time to get another cushion smacked into his face.

"RARRRGGGHGHHHHH!" Clint's war cry echoes around the room as he leaps from his perch on the back of the couch and lands gracefully on the floor, swinging the cushion around and Tony only manages to raise one hand in time to save himself another face of cloth.

"What the heck?" he shouts and tries to scramble away, tipping over the couch and ending up on his back. Clint launches the cushion at him and he catches it, pegging it back the way it had come. Within the minute, there is a full scale pillow fight happening which only gets worse when Thor enters the room having just woken up and takes to the activity with much enthusiasm. _Too_  much enthusiasm, the rest of the Avengers standing in the doorway would say.

Steve stops at the door, freezing in his path, eyes wide with shock and a hint of what might be amusement. Bruce puts his head in his hands, but no one misses the smile. Natasha only watches them, eyebrow arched as she judges them. Steve flinches when the first cushion explodes.

They end up getting the whole set replaced


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit of Christmas silliness. I should get the next chapter (Christmas Eve, YAY, presents, YAY) up by tonight or in a few hours.

Christmas draws ever nearer and the Avengers get ever busier. Pepper calls a few times to remind everyone that Secret Santa will be on Christmas eve and the Avengers put up the big tree in the living room, an activity which everyone participates in with all the spirit they can muster. Which is a lot of spirit. It had become sort of a tradition for the Avengers to put up their own tree at Christmas, singing carols and throwing baubles while they go about their business and they do just that, soaking up the festive atmosphere.

This year is no different save the addition of Loki their little dysfunctional group as everyone strings up tinsel, Christmas carols playing over the speakers at a decibel level far too loud for ordinary people. Everyone is singing, spirits high and Steve only just manages to stop a full scale bauble fight from ensuing, bless him. There is an argument over who gets to put up the star, the same argument that takes place every year.

It starts like it always does, Clint swinging past from the rafters, the star clutched in one hand as he makes a wild dash for the tree. Tony spots him and leaps, grabbing onto Clint's legs as he goes by and Clint lands on top of Tony with an audible  _oomph_. There is a struggle as Tony tries to wrestle it out of Clint's grip and to absolutely no one's surprise, Clint refuses to give it to him. The loud commotion catches Thor's attention and he marches over, demanding to know what the fuss is about.

"My tower, my rules, my star!" Tony shouts between trying to yank the decoration out of Clint's hands and trying to avoid getting hit in the face by Clint and his own flailing limbs.

"MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!" howls Clint. Coulson shakes his head.

Thor frowns, eyebrows pulling together as he thinks. "I do not understand. If there should be a star at the top of the tree, then surely we shall place Mjolnir for it was after all forged in the heart of a dying star."

"It's not a  _real_  star, Thor," groans Tony on the floor as Clint's leg impacts with his stomach.

"A dying star is a real a star as any," Thor lectures as he makes his way towards the tree.

"I didn't mean Mjolnir, I mean you're not meant to- STOP! THOR WHAT ARE YOU DOING. NO. NO!"

Tony's shouting falls on deaf ears as Thor climbs up a ladder propped against the wall and tries strapping Mjolnir to the top of the tree. Everyone else in the room has by this point sat themselves down and cradled their heads in their hands.

Time seems to slow as Thor releases the hammer, a triumphant grin plastered to his face which slowly turns to a look of devastation as the whole 5 metre tree crashes to the ground. Tony and Clint flinch at the impact, splinters of wood flying in every direction, branches snapping and decorations breaking. There is a collective face-palm in the room.

They spend the next three hours rushing around Manhattan buying stupid amounts of decorations as Thor repeatedly apologizes for the devastation he's wreaked. Nobody gets angry at him though, and it becomes a joke pretty quickly. In fact, it turns out not to be all bad when Steve reappears with a positively enormous bag of Avengers themed decorations. There are grins all round as Tony makes grabby hands at Steve and Clint practically throws himself on top of the bag. Bruce tries not look too interested but he inches closer, peering over a flailing Clint's head to have a look.

Steve smiles despite himself and it turns into a laugh, brilliant blue eyes catching the sunlight, his whole face shining. "Alright, alright guys, easy there."

He fishes out a Hawkeye decoration and tosses it to Clint who very nearly drools over it. Tony gets an Iron Man one and he hugs Steve in his excitement, causing everyone to laugh. Thor is instantly absorbed by the little Thor that he's handed and Bruce discreetly turns the Hulk around in his hands. Natasha gets hers last and she smiles, amused at the tiny figurine of Black Widow.

"I hardly think I look like that," she comments, but hangs it up on one of the branches. The tree certainly looks like it has seen better days, but considering the fall it had taken, it hadn't fared  _too_  badly. They finish decorations late in the evening and everyone is completely exhausted. Natasha ends up placing the star because she offered and no one dared argue. Six small and rather adorable Avenger figurines topped with relatively small and adorable Santa hats adorn the numerous branches and six more sit atop the edges of the star, lined up so that they fit snugly. Hundreds of fairy lights twinkle at them from the depths to the outer edges of the tree, throwing gleaming pinpricks of light off the reflective surfaces of the baubles. Icicle lights are strung up at the balcony and everywhere there are festive decorations.

"It looks... magnificent," Steve breathes and there is a murmur of contented agreement.

By this time, everyone is starving and no one has cooked, so they decide on calling pizza. There are polite disagreements on which pizzas to order because no one has the energy to hold an argument. At least, not until a few drinks are consumed. It gets a bit loud after that. Steve holds up his hand in the midst of the disagreements.

"We'll pick it out of a hat." There is no objection and everyone writes down their preference on torn slips of paper before shaking them up in Steve's cap.

"Cap's cap," Tony sniggers and everyone rolls their eyes. They decide on getting seven pizzas between the eleven of them. They also decide that they should hide at ground level and ambush the delivery boy when they answer the door. For the record, it is  _all_  Clint and Tony's fault.

Which is how a very unfortunate pizza delivery boy finds himself at the doorstep of the Avengers tower, seven pizza boxes piled high in his arms as he cranes his neck around the stack in an attempt to see where he's going. His hair is blond, cut short but left out to grow so that it swishes when he moves his head. All gangly limbs and pale skin, Steve reconsiders his decision to let the others ambush the poor kid. They watch the monitors as he uses a knee to support the boxes as he presses the intercom with one hand. Jarvis answers as Tony had told him to and the doors slide open. The lights remain off under Tony's instructions, pathway lit only by the Christmas lights strung up, creating a magical atmosphere.

The boy looks around, eyes wide and swallows. "Please head straight and turn left at the end," Jarvis' smooth tones inform the kid. He bites his lower lip and make his way down the hall.

"Clint," he hears Tony whisper and when he looks over his shoulder, Clint has disappeared. He turns back to the monitors and only notices the missing box when Tony chuckles. Counting under his breath, he watches as the pizza boxes decrease in number, one every ten seconds.

The kid realises his load is lessening when about half the boxes are gone. Swinging his head up, eyes wide, he spins around stopping dead in his tracks. "Who's there?" His voice is surprisingly steady and Tony grins a manic grin. Courtesy of Loki's magic, a soft flutter catches his attention and the soft patter of light snowfall greets his eyes. They hear him gasp, cotton-soft snow landing all around him and the hallway is transformed into a winter wonderland within seconds.

The speakers come to life with the chiming of bells.

_You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why._

"Bruce, that's your cue, buddy."

_Santa Claus is coming to town._

The kid spins back around just as Clint snatches the remaining boxes from the rafters and it takes him a second to realise that he's no longer holding anything. A spark jumps at the end of the corridor and the boy backs away, arms held out in front of him. "I'm just delivering pizza," he says loudly and Steve can just make out the tremor that creeps into his voice. More sparks appear and an instant later, miniature fireworks erupt at both ends of the hallway, brilliant light dancing and flickering into life.

_He's making a list, he's checking it twice, he's gonna find out who's naughty and nice._

"What the-?" is all that gets out of the kids mouth before there are arms throwing glitter and wrapping tinsel around his limbs. Steve crouches low as he joins Tony and Natasha in enveloping the boy with Christmas decorations. He still appears to be in a state of shock, jaw dropped open at the sudden turn of events. They do a quick job and within half a minute the kid has tinsel and strings of fairy lights draped around his neck

and arms and baubles hanging from button holes in his sleeves. Thor's heavy footfalls can be heard easily as he rounds the corner, Santa hat perched atop his head and sack in hand. Clint lets out a guffaw from behind them. "HO HO HO!" Thor bellows and everyone laughs. He stops right in front of the kid, whipping out a Santa hat from behind his back and plonking it on the boy's head. "Merry Christmas!" He says and hands the kid a handful of cash for the pizzas.

_He sees you when you're sleeping, he sees when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake!_

"Smile!" A voice says and they turn to face Bruce who is holding a Polaroid camera in his hands. They all laugh and the camera flashes, the whirring of the machine audible as it spits out the image. "Merry Christmas," Bruce says as he hands the photo to the kid. They all peer at the image of five laughing Avengers and Loki's mischievous grin with a rather stunned pizza delivery boy in the middle, all sporting bright red and white Santa hats.

_You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why._

"What's your name?" Steve asks him.

The kid takes a moment to react. "Joseph," he says.

Thor laughs. "Very festive!" he proclaims, slapping Joseph on the back which makes him double over from the impact. "Stay for a drink?" Tony asks.

_Santa Claus is coming to town!_


	6. Chapter 6

Christmas Eve is a bright winter day. Everyone wakes early and Pepper, Jane, Darcy and Coulson all join them for breakfast. Beautifully wrapped presents started appearing under the tree about a week after the tree was put up and now eight gifts sit underneath the glittering lights. By midday, there is food prepared, drinks poured and the partying has started early. 

 

They toast to each other. Jane and Thor toast to love, Steve and Bruce toast to friendship. Loki and Darcy toast to magic, Coulson, Natasha and Pepper toast to Christmas. Tony and Clint toast to being foolish. 

The food is spectacular, a combination of everyone's efforts including Tony's, who possesses the unique ability to burn water. Copious amounts of alcohol are consumed and they receive a total of 7 noise complaints before evening even settles. No one except Steve really gives a damn and by Tony's reasoning, "Of all the things to complain about, if they're going to complain about the noise then they shouldn't have chosen to live right next to the Avengers tower."

In Tony's opinion though, the fun only really starts a few minutes before midnight when everyone is full and excited, and the alcohol has flowed like water. Thor and Natasha of all people, had prepared a very strong home-made mead which had a sharp flavour, rich and with a spicy scent. By the time they start the countdown, there's tinsel everywhere and almost everyone is stuffed from the Christmas feast. 

Tony synchronises every watch and clock in the tower and the group of superheroes and their friends stand near the tree, champagne glasses in hand and Santa hats cocked on their heads as they countdown to Christmas day.

"Five!"

"Four!"

"THREE!"

"TWO!"

"ONE!"

There is a rousing cheer and glasses clang as 11 bright red and white hats are thrown into the air. Pepper waves a hat of shaken names as she almost topples over on her killer heels. Steve plunges his hand into the hat and shuffles around the slips of paper before drawing one out. Everyone clusters around to see who gets to open their secret Santa gift first. 

Tony squints for a second before making out the name  _Phil_  printed neatly in Pepper's handwriting. He takes a step back, pursing his lips in an expression he hopes gives nothing away. Steve searches through the pile beneath the tree until he picks up a small box wrapped in delicate silver paper. The original slip of paper is taped to the front, betraying nothing. Coulson raises his eyebrows when Steve presents him with it. 

"Me first?" he says and accepts the box. He baffles Tony by unwrapping the gift without tearing the paper at all, a feat never achieved by Tony even on his most sober of days. He opens the box and a small piece of nanotechnology drops into his hand. Coulson doesn't blink twice before turning and pointing to Tony. 

"You got me," he says and it's not a question. He's right, of course he's right so Tony just laughs and nods and Natasha just rolls her eyes because the tech is always from Tony. 

"Try it on," Tony says, leaning eagerly towards the agent, eyes dancing with excitement at the anticipation seeing a piece of his tech being appreciated the way it should be. Coulson takes a few moments to figure out how to put it on and a minute later, three pulsating strands of glowing blue energy run from his fingertips to his wrist and everyone is clamouring around to see what it does. A smile creeps across Coulson's face and Tony almost jumps into the air. 

"That's right, it's a nano-taser. No more traditional bulky tasers, and you can adjust the power of the shock by the flick of your wrist." Tony does a gleeful jig around the tree, misjudging the size of the tree and it takes him half a minute to get back around it. He ducks, but not fast enough and a minor shock makes his hairs stand on end. Coulson laughs. 

"HEY!" he says loudly but he is smiling. Steve hands him a large gift wrapped in a plain sheet of recycled paper. Tony is onto it immediately, tearing away strips of paper until a large frame reveals itself underneath the layers of wrapping. He stops when he has destroyed the paper and for a moment, just stares at the painting. 

A memory comes to his mind, unbidden, of the Avengers right after a mission when Bruce had taken a picture of them at the tower. Everyone had been there, laughing and smiling at the camera. He had a copy of the photo, by far one of his all time favourites. 

The painting is something else completely. Everyone is captured in a brilliant glow, faces alight with joy and laughter. Steve and Tony stand in the middle, arms hooked around each other's shoulders. Tony is looking away from the camera, laughing naturally at something he had found funny.  Steve is smiling widely at the camera, a real, warm smile which he saves for only his friends. Thor is also laughing, head thrown back as Mjolnir's strap hangs of his pinky like it weighs no more than an ounce. Natasha stands to the side, lips turned upward in a smile, a truly rare display of mirth. Bruce has been added in next to Natasha, one side of his mouth kicked up in an amused grin, glasses lopsided on his nose. Clint hangs upside down from the rafters on the other side of Steve and Tony, his eyes crinkled as he laughs. It is the family that Tony never had, the family that he now does. It is everything that is important to Tony and everything that matters. 

Tony is assaulted by many emotions all at once, the most dominating being overwhelming gratitude and he almost has to blink back tears. There isn't a doubt in his mind who had him as he turns to Steve and hugs him. There is a chorus of chuckles from the rest of the group and Steve hesitates for moment before hugging him back. 

"I guess you like it then," he smiles sheepishly. 

"You can't imagine," Tony says. " _Thank you."_

Steve smiles happily. "I guess I'm next then," he says, and turns to the gifts underneath the tree. It takes a while for him to find his gift, a small fist sized present wrapped in a deep green paper. He peels it back cautiously to reveal a crystal snow-globe, something majestic swirling inside it. Everyone feels the tingling sensation when Steve touches the crystal and he draws his hand back instinctively.

"Loki?" he asks tentatively and the Asgardian nods once. "It is enchanted," he says. "The dust inside is Nebulae dust or as the Midgardians would put it, stardust."

Steve's eyes widen as he beholds the magical contents of the globe. "Ask it questions of the heart when you have lost the way. It may hold an answer for you, but remember, the heart is fragile and there are some paths with cannot be shown to you. Those you will have to find on your own."

Steve stares at the swirling dust, entranced by the movement before turning back to Loki. "Thank you, Loki."

Loki nods graciously once. Steve sets the globe down carefully, before he returns to rummaging through the gifts. He turns back empty-handed, a frown on his face. There is a whistle, loud and clear through the air and everyone turns towards the doorway, attentions caught by a snuffling sound. Tony's eyebrows shoot up, Steve blinks in surprise and apart from Natasha, everyone freezes in surprise. A baby greyhound stands at the doorway, liquid brown eyes staring up at each of them in turn. Loki is smitten immediately. His features soften and the crouches down. The greyhound considers him for a minute and then treads her way around ripped and discarded paper. Apparently the greyhound likes Loki just as much as Loki likes her because she is sitting in his lap while he strokes her head within two minutes. 

Loki stares at everyone, eyes lingering on Thor before moving on. "Was it... Jane? No, Darcy?" 

There is a beat of silence then Darcy grins a wide grin. "You bet-cha behind it was me," she states. 

Darcy hops off the table which she is sitting on to go over to collect her gift from Steve. "Thank you," Loki says quietly when he passes him. She grins at him in reply. Her gift is wrapped in bright red paper, a small box about the size of her outstretched hand. She tears off the paper and a box emblazoned with the Apple logo falls into her hands. Darcy frowns after pulling off the lid.

"I don't understand," she says. "This is... this isn't supposed to be released yet." There is a moment of confusion before understanding sparks in her eye. Her jaw drops. 

"Is this-? How did-?" Darcy looks around the remaining people, studying them. "Pepper?"

Pepper shakes her head. There is a long pause as Darcy looks befuddled. "Um, Jane?"

Jane smiles at Darcy who hugs her tightly enough that the look of surprise on Jane's face makes everyone laugh. "You are amazing," Darcy says to Jane. "This is why we are friends." Jane laughs. 

Jane gets her gift next, a light, flat present wrapped in shiny gold paper. She peels the paper back carefully and takes out a sheet of gold foiled paper, elegant swirls adorning the edges and corners. In the middle, an elegant handwritten script reads: 

Jane Foster

One trip through the Einstein-Rosen bridge

Jane simply stares for a moment before she throws her arms around Thor. The mighty Asgardian smiles, pats her back as she kisses him on the cheek. 

Looking back, Tony would say that this is the point things start to get just a bit more crazy. And to recap, it's all Clint's fault. It always is.

Thor gets a massive present, wrapped in so much red, green and silver paper taped together that it looks like a badly designed patchwork quilt. No one needs to second guess that Clint is at fault when Thor unwraps a brand new and horrifically  _pink_  tricycle. Whereas everyone else groans, recognising the impending doom, Thor is extremely enthusiastic. To top it off, there is a equally horrifically pink  _Rapunzel costume_. Thor is so extremely enthusiastic that he changes right in the middle of the room. Everyone is blinded by the sheer pinkness that is Thor. 

Steve hastily hands Clint his gift who rips open the red paper to a pink bow and many,  _many_  bright pink rubber arrows. To everyone's surprise, Pepper is responsible. Tony groans and buries his face into the couch.

"Damnit Pepper, I wanted to see everyone's gifts," he whines into the couch. Sure enough, Clint goes absolutely crazy with his gift and Tony spends the rest of the secret Santa session frantically trying to dodge bright pink arrows which whiz around the room, catching everyone off guard save for Natasha and Coulson who effortlessly dodge every shot. Tony never does find out what everyone got for Christmas, but he does spent an unhealthy amount of time crouched behind the sofa drinking alcohol. 

Only after everyone is sporting embarrassing bruises from Clint's pink arrows does he show mercy, hooking his new-found bow on one of the tree branches. His energy has to go somewhere though, as everyone else soon finds out. 

They have just finished drinking another toast when Clint leaps up onto the table, sending glasses and champagne flying, something which he seems to not notice. Hitting his glass with a fork for attention, something rather unnecessary considering the fact that he's the only person in the room on a table, Clint brandishes his glass around, his drink sloshing out onto Thor's head. The pink-garbed Asgardian doesn't seem to notice in his festive state, and if he does, he doesn't say anything.

There is a pause in the room as everyone holds their breath and hopes it's not the apocalypse. And then Clint opens his mouth and starts belting at the top of his lungs.

_"I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need!_ "

Coulson groans, Tony guffaws, Steve puts his head in his hands, Natasha judges the hell out of Clint and everyone else tries to bite back their collective laughs. Clint gesticulates wildly at Coulson with his arms and drops his champagne on a nearby table.

" _I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree!"_

Clint swaggers over to Coulson music theatre style. Coulson hits him upside the head. Clint doesn't care.

" _I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know!_ "

Steve almost cries or laughs, he doesn't know which one is better when Tony joins in. 

" _Make my wish come true!_ "

Steve hides his eyes as Tony slides across the floor to him. 

" _All I want for Christmas... is yooooooooooooou!_ " 

Clint receives another whack upside the head from Coulson. Steve hides behind Natasha while Thor's laugh echoes around the room. 

" _Yooooou, baby!_ " 

Clint drapes his arm around Coulson's shoulders, taking a swig from a bottle of whisky he's snatched off the bench. Steve can't help but smile. Tony laughs. 

It's as much of a family as Tony's ever had and more than anything Tony had ever hoped for. It's where he's most comfortable, where he's most happy, where he feels like he truly belongs. And he would fight to the ends of the Earth for them. And  _Steve_. Steve has that twinkle in his eyes, a blush reddening his cheeks from Tony's antics as he laughs. And when he laughs everything is alright, everything is suddenly right with the world. 

A bottle comes flying through the air without warning and Tony reacts slowly, arm coming up too late as it hits him in the head. 

The first thing Tony notices when he comes to is the throbbing in the side of his head. The moment he opens his eyes, he sees Steve's all-too-worried face blinking in relief. He cocks a crooked smile on his face, "What's up?"

Pepper sighs and only then does Tony notice that everyone is gathered or crouched around him. "Uh, what happened?"

Clint grins somewhat sheepishly. "My fault," he says, raising his hand. "Well, nah," Tony replies, his sarcasm already back online. 

"I threw out my arm but I let go of the bottle by accident," Clint looks apologetic. "Man, my shirt is ruined," Tony says regretfully as the whisky all over him registers in his brain. 

Thor laughs. It only takes a few minutes before everyone is back to partying. Jane has fallen asleep in Thor's lap, not seeming to mind the ridiculous pink costume the Asgardian sports as he strokes her hair tenderly. Pepper, Darcy, Clint and Bruce sing out-of-tune Christmas carols. Coulson cleans up the table and Loki sits on the balcony, making the snow which has fallen there swirl in dancing loops through the air. The greyhound sits by him, its head nuzzled in his lap, watching the dancing snow settle around them. 

There seems to be the addition of a bird, a lovely rainbow finch hopping around the room. Tony's not sure who it belongs to, but the tiny, fluffy creature tries to bite everyone except for Bruce, so Tony assumes it was Bruce's secret Santa gift. In fact, Tony even thinks it's  _angry_. Not to Bruce though, it flaps up and sits on Bruce's shoulder as he sings  _Frost the Snowman_  and Bruce gives it a doting look. 

Steve sits next to Tony, their backs to the couch and Steve holds an icepack to Tony's head where Clint's bottle hit him. Tony's eyes the fluffy animal. "Where'd that bird come from?" he asks Steve.

Steve chuckles and there's that  _smile_  again. The one that makes Tony's heart flutter like a pathetic butterfly, or something. "Natasha got it for Bruce. It was the only one left because it's, well for lack of a better word, angry, and no one wanted to buy a bird that kept biting them. She was pretty certain it'd like Bruce though and well, I guess it took to Bruce the minute he saw it."

"Haha," Tony laughs, and it's actually really funny, because hello? An actual  _angry bird_? Steve looks concerned when he laughs so hard it becomes silent shaking, tears of mirth rolling down his cheeks. 

Afterwards, they all join in in a few carols, the words slurred by alcohol. Thor and Jane fall asleep on the couch not long after. Bruce heads off to bed after he slips in a puddle of spilled milk (who drinks milk of all things anyway?) and Clint drags Coulson to his room. Tony doesn't know when he falls asleep, leaning into Steve's shoulder but he's woken by a jolt and disorientated, it takes him longer than it should have to identify his surroundings. The jolt had been Steve pushing open a door with his elbow and it takes another long moment for Tony to realise Steve is carrying him, bridal style. 

"Aw honey, you're so sweet, " he mumbles, brain working slowly through the haze. Steve gives him a look before depositing him onto his bed. "Go to sleep, Tony, you're drunk," he says, but not unkindly. 

Tony frowns and his vision goes unfocused for a second. He struggles to sit up until Steve grabs his shoulder, supporting him. Steve looks... concerned. "Hey, Steve," Tony grins, touching his friend's cheek with his finger. Steve swallows, a strange expression crossing his face. "I like you, Steve," Tony says, blinking when his vision blurs again. 

Steve frowns like he's concentrating deeply on something. "I like you, too, Tony," he says eventually and his voice is quiet, subdued. "More than you can imagine, but you're drunk so please, just... sleep." Tony frowns, his mind processing Steve's words at an infuriatingly slow pace. "I'm not drunk," he says after a long time. The corner of Steve's mouth kicks up. "Sure you are."

"Steve," he says, disagreeing, then, "you have nice hair," and whoa, where did  _that_  come from? Because that wasn't what he meant to say at all but come to think of it, he wasn't exactly sure what he  _was_  going to say. 

Steve sighs, puts his hands on Tony's shoulders. "Tony, look, y-"

He's cut short because Tony has grabbed his collar and crushed his lips. Steve can taste the whisky and-  _shit_. Shit, shit,  _shit_. Tony has  _kissed_  him and it takes an agonising moment for Steve to realise he hasn't stopped. "What-" he tries to say but Tony is stronger than he looks and Steve is caught off guard. So he kisses Tony back, but in the end, the taste of alcohol in Tony's mouth stops him. It takes all of Steve's willpower to push Tony away, albeit gently, his hands still on his shoulders. Tony looks hurt, his breathing uneven and Steve feels terrible, an ache crawling through his chest. 

"Tony, please," he says, voice pleading. "I'm... in love with you and I'm only telling you this because you won't remember it in the morning, but I can't, I can't do this when you're drunk. You don't- you don't have full control of- please, Tony, just, just go to sleep, I'll stay here until you do." Tony looks confused and hurt at the same time, rejection creeping into his eyes. "I promise," Steve whispers and his voice cracks on the words. 

"Steve," Tony says again, quiet and touches his fingers to Steve's cheek tenderly. Steve wills himself not to cry in front of Tony and when he eventually does fall asleep, only then do the silent tears stream down his cheeks unchecked. Steve strokes Tony's hair affectionately and even though Tony is the only thing he's ever wanted, kissing him felt horrible, felt wrong because he knew that if Tony was himself he would have never have wanted Steve. "I'm sorry," he whispers into the darkness, "I'm sorry I fell in love with you."  

Love has never brought him anything but heartbreak he thinks bitterly as the light from Tony's arc reactor throws shadows across the room. "In another life, I would be yours, and maybe- maybe, you could be mine too." 

He doesn't leave, just pillows his head on his arms as exhaustion claims him, the tears still falling. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm sorry it took so long, but there was a lot of unexpected stuff which happened, I am so sorry. And I'm also sorry I dumped a bucket of feels on your head. I really am. Not.


	7. Chapter 7

Steve stands in the shower letting the water run off him in scalding rivulets. Ever since the ice, he’d taken showers nothing south of scalding which, if Tony knew about, he’d probably call hell showers. Anyway, it didn’t matter because he felt more comfortable when the water was trying to burn through his outermost layer of skin. When he gets out, he stands around in the bathroom for a while, breathing in all the excess steam from his hell shower and scrubs his hair until it stands up at strange angles and makes him look like a particularly disturbed porcupine. Then he wraps his towel around his waist and inhales deeply through the steam before opening the bathroom door and letting the chilly air rush in from his bedroom. He stands in the doorway for a minute, confused, because Tony is standing in his bedroom holding a plate full of something which he can’t identify as anything other than food.

“Uh,” says Tony judgmentally, staring at Steve’s chest which Steve knows is probably flushed red from his hell shower.

“Well, Rogers,” Tony continues, “I always wondered how far down that blush went but I didn’t know your whole _body_ blushed.”

“Tony,” Steve says, frowning intensely, “it’s from my shower.”

“Ah,” Tony nods knowledgably, “you must take some freaky sort of hell shower then.”

Steve mentally awards himself a star for so accurately predicting this outcome.

“What are you doing, Tony?” Steve asks, scratching his head and Tony tilts his head in return, looking just as confused as Steve feels.

“Oh,” Tony says suddenly, brightening, “pancakes.”

“Oh,” Steve says.

“Yeah,” Tony agrees.

They stand in silence, Steve wondering if since he hasn’t had his first glass of juice the world would forgive him if he leaned over and kissed Tony Stark. Probably not so he says, “you too, Tony.”

Tony stares at him for a while then he offers the plate to Steve. Steve eyes it dubiously.

“Did you make that?” he asks.

“Uh huh,” Tony says proudly.

Steve stares at him.

“How?”

Tony looks taken aback and then, regaining his composure, he grins widely.

“Science,” he announces.

“Oh,” Steve says, bewildered, “okay.”

Tony gives him the plate. They stand, staring at each other until Tony coughs and excuses himself.

“I must return to the kitchen,” he says, and leaves, but not before staring at Steve’s chest some more.

\-----

It turns out Tony got bored of blowing things up in his workshop and convinced himself that he should venture into the kitchen. It also turns out that even though Tony can’t cook when he’s hungry, he can if it’s in the name of science. And according to him, the pancakes he’s made for everyone are scientifically as delicious as they can be.

Steve just thinks they’re the most delicious pancakes, full stop, science be damned.

Eventually the rest of the team wanders in, each holding a plate full of pancakes and a mildly confused look.

“Are these safe to eat?” Clint asks, eyeing Steve. He nods.

Thor wanders in with an empty plate and scratches his head.

“Oh,” he says, “I did not realise we were meant to eat them at the table.” Steve smiles into his juice. Thor sits down awkwardly.

“We will have some mead tonight,” he announces finally and Steve pushes a hand sleepily through his hair.

“Asgardian mead,” Thor continues, undeterred by the sleepy faces around the table.

“I’ll bring a life since you guys don’t have one,” Clint says.

“I’ll bring Steve,” Tony says.

“What,” Clint says.

“What,” Tony answers.

“What,” Steve says, putting down his juice.

“To see if you can get drunk on Asgardian mead,” Tony says, then adds, “for science, of course. We’ll write it down.”

“What,” Steve repeats.  
“Science.”

\-----

Thor brings Asgardian mead. A lot of Asgardian mead. Five barrels of Asgardian mead. No one asks him if Heimdall is happy about using the bifrost to transport mead.

Tony brings lots of measuring equipment, “for science,” he says.

Tony is sprawled out with his back against Steve, noting down with one hand every time Steve tips back a standard test tube.

Clint frowns over at him when he hits fifty test tubes.

“Yo Tony,” he says, motioning with his fancy Asgardian tankard.

“I’ve had like,” he stops, thinking about it, “like ten of these and I’m not feeling very drunk at all.”

Tony pauses in handing Steve more.

“Interesting,” he says, writing it down.

“Here, have this,” he says, handing Steve a glass brimming with mead. He picks up one himself and knocks glasses with Steve, lifting it up to his lips. Steve seems to think it’s a competition, because he stares at Tony and chugs his glass. Tony chugs down his glass. Steve finishes first and puts down his glass with a smug grin.

Tony fills their glasses again and stares Steve down. He beats Steve. Then Steve beats him twice.

“I’m so full,” he says and Steve looks relieved.

“Losers,” Clint says from his spot next to Natasha and Bruce.

Bruce looks up from his book for a second, “that has got to be unhealthy.”

“Probably,” Tony answers. Thor shakes his head, “Asgardian mead will not harm the human body and it only has some similar effects from Midgardian alcohol. I think, as Steven’s metabolism is in some way similar to that of an Asgardian, it will have the same effects on him as the rest of us.”

Tony writes it down.

“Let’s go spar,” Natasha says. Steve finds this idea surprisingly tempting. The team shifts, nodding at each other.

They shuffle to the training room and Steve joins Natasha first. The rest of them watch on.

“How much have you had?” Steve asks her.

“Two glasses,” Natasha says. Bruce moves to sit next to Tony. They write it down.

Steve begins a cautious circling step with Natasha, something everyone is familiar with. Natasha moves first, going for his neck and then switching to pinpoint his knee. Steve predicts her move and blocks her, returning the gesture by throwing his arm under her jab. She steps out of the way. Steve outsteps her, bringing his wrist into contact with her elbow at a strange angle and the change sends them both slightly off balance. Steve pushes the momentum, rolls and traps Natasha’s ankle under his knee. She retaliates, driving her elbow into his side and he takes the hit to pull her arm behind her.

“Wow,” Tony says, mouth slightly open. Steve pushes a hand through his hair as he stands up.

Natasha nods at him but casts him a calculating look.

“That was unusual,” she comments and the others have realised as well. Steve shrugs.

“Yeah,” he agrees, “I normally wouldn’t have taken that risk.”

“Hm,” Tony says and writes it down.

They watch for a minute as Clint and Bruce spar and then Steve feels a hand on his wrist, pulling him away.

“Tony?” he asks, confused. Tony puts a finger to his lips and pulls Steve away from the training room and up the stairs to the landing.

“Hi,” he says to Steve.

“Just-” he drops Steve’s wrist and pushes a hand roughly through his hair, “don’t freak out, okay?”

He leans forwards into Steve’s space and Steve doesn’t pull back. He is tired, tired of fighting and fighting this. Tony stops an inch away from him and he bridges the gap, sealing his lips over Tony’s and he feels the smaller man lean into him as if he were almost- relieved.

“Tony?” he says, unsure and Tony answers by sliding his hands over Steve’s shoulders and behind his neck, pulling him forwards to deepen the kiss.

Steve gives in, stepping right into Tony’s space, dropping his hands to Tony’s waist and pulling them together. He walks them backwards into the wall and crowds Tony against it, leaning over him and Tony parts his lips for Steve, letting him slide his tongue into his mouth.

“I have wanted this for so long,” he confesses quietly when he pulls away and rests his head against Tony’s.

“You have?” Tony asks, swallowing and it feels wrong and so right at the same time. Steve tries to push away the voice which tells him he’s drunk, they’re both drunk.

“Yes.”

By the time they stumble through the bedroom door, Steve has fumbled his shirt off and Tony’s is hitched up over his stomach and his pants are undone.

“Steve,” Tony says in a quiet, choked voice and Steve kisses the sound off his lips, kisses Tony until he tightens his fingers in Steve’s hair and at the nape of his neck and pants into Steve’s mouth. He backs Tony to the edge of the bed and tugs off his shirt, leaning down to kiss him slowly, helping Tony onto the bed. He slides his hands over Tony’s ribs and behind him, resting them at the small of his back. Tony lifts his hips up slightly and Steve helps maneuver them further onto the bed, pressing slow, deliberate kisses to Tony’s mouth and neck until his voice is rough and broken around the edges when he pants Steve’s name.

Tony cants up into him and any form of coherent thought Steve has is gone immediately. Tony is breathing shallow, leaning back on his elbows and he brings one arm up to hook around Steve’s neck, sinking back onto the bed.

Steve grinds back into Tony which draws a soft moan from him and Steve drops his forehead to Tony’s, panting heavily through his mouth.

He wants to say ‘I love you,’ because Tony’s eyes are blown wide with arousal but they’re hopeful and honest like he wants to promise Steve the world. But he doesn’t and instead he kisses Tony with everything he can give him, dragging his tongue over Tony’s lips and tasting his mouth carefully, committing every inch of it to memory.

Tony rolls them over, shucking his pants and kicking them off the bed and unbuckling Steve’s pants. Steve lifts his hips, helping Tony push them off his hips and then he is dragging Tony back down to him, tilting his chin to kiss him, swallowing the sounds he makes. Tony hooks his fingers in the waistband of Steve’s boxers and drags them languidly over his thighs and knees and ankles, tossing it with the other discarded clothing. He inches the fingers of one hand lightly over Steve’s chest and stomach and then wraps a hand around his cock and Steve tightens his fingers on Tony’s other wrist, holding back a choked sound. Tony kisses him softly, the easy slide of his lips gentle and unassuming against Steve’s. He strokes Steve a few times and then he spreads his hands across Steve’s chest, looking down at him with an unreadable look.

Steve pushes himself up on his elbows and closes his hands around Tony’s wrists, flipping them over again and kisses Tony with long, hot slides of their mouths, pinning Tony’s hands on either side of his head.

He slides off Tony’s boxers, trailing his fingers back up the inside of Tony’s knee and thigh and stopping short of his groin. Tony lets a groan escape his lips and Steve really looks at him, maps out the contours of his body carefully, thoroughly so he won’t forget this in the morning. He kisses Tony and Tony gives him a small bottle, the plastic smooth under his fingers. It takes a minute to register and then Steve is pouring out the cool gel, rolling it between his fingers.

Tony arches off the bed when he pushes in a finger, a moan on the edge of his breath. He leans up between Tony’s legs, drawing out his finger and pressing it in again and kisses the arc reactor. Tony writhes beneath him, twisting his fingers in the sheets before latching them onto Steve’s neck and dragging him up to kiss him again.

Steve has two fingers worked into Tony when he brushes against his prostate and Tony lets out a loud, choked off whimper. He presses his fingers into the same spot when he pushes them back in, fingers curling and Tony comes, jerking and shaking apart under him. Steve leans down and kisses him softly and Tony whimpers Steve’s name back into his mouth.

By the time Tony has regained his breath long enough to kiss Steve back, Steve is painfully aware of his own arousal. Tony leans up on his elbows, tilting Steve’s chin with one hand to press their lips together.

He guides Steve into a sitting position and climbs into his lap, hooking his knees over Steve’s thighs. Steve eases his hands around Tony’s waist, splaying his fingers across the small of his back.

Tony wraps a hand around his cock and strokes slowly, his skin rough and warm against Steve’s.

“Christ, Tony,” Steve says, the sound dragging itself roughly from his throat and he drops his head against Tony’s shoulder, squeezes his eyes shut.

Tony turns his head and presses kisses to his neck in time with his strokes and watches Steve come apart for him.

Steve doesn’t thrust back up into Tony’s hand, just digs his fingers into Tony’s back and when Tony reaches up to cup his chin and passes his thumb over the head of Steve’s cock, he chokes and comes all over his stomach and Tony’s hand.

Tony curls his fingers underneath Steve’s chin and kisses him as he shakes through his orgasm, swallowing any sound he makes.

Something aches painfully in Steve’s chest and under the haze of everything else he can pinpoint his heart breaking because he has only ever wanted Tony.


	8. Chapter 8

Steve wakes before Tony, the feeling of Tony’s hair pressed under his chin the first thing that registers. Then the press of Tony’s body, smooth, warm skin against his and he lets out a shaky exhale and untangles himself from Tony’s limbs and silently slips out from under the sheets.

“Christ,” he says under his breath, sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands.

He lingers for a moment, crushed by the overwhelming longing to stay and then he stands up and leaves, picking up his clothes where they’re strewn haphazardly on his way out.

Steve runs for two hours, pushing his body to its limits and then when he can’t stand the confines of his own mind anymore, he circles back to the tower and takes the hottest shower he can.

The worst thing about Asgardian mead, he figures under the burning spray, is that the next morning he hasn’t forgotten a single thing. It’s that, even after they’d drunk enough to possibly put them all in stupors, every touch of Tony’s hands, the sound of his breaths and the texture of his lips, every single contact from last night is still sharp like a knife blade twisting through every fragile part of his chest.

He slams a hand into the wall of the shower, shaking, because he can’t stop playing it back over and over, the arch of Tony’s back, his ragged breaths and the broken way he’d said Steve’s name.

“I’m so confused,” he confesses to the ceiling, breathing ragged, as if someone might hear him and tell him where he’d gone wrong and why he hadn’t seen it.

Steve drags himself out of the shower and stand with his towel around his neck without moving. When he eventually dries himself off, his hands have stopped shaking long enough for him to pull on a white shirt and pants.

He wonders absently where Tony is and if it’s safe to walk into the kitchen to find some food and by then he’s already in the kitchen and suddenly a creampie flies out of nowhere and hits him in the face.

The culprit, as it turns out, is Clint, who is a gigantic asshole because he totally took advantage of Steve’s distractedness to throw food at his face.

“CLINT,” Steve growls and he hears laughter then realises he just walked straight into the crossfire of a full scale warfare because there is food flying at him from two directions and he ducks out of the way but a container of bread dip still hits him in the shoulder. There is quality beetroot dip sliding down Steve’s arm and he disapproves so much. He takes refuge in the hallway and after taking a minute to focus and shake goop off his arm, he lists who he’s seen. Clint in the kitchen rafters, possibly Natasha. Which leaves Bruce and Tony unaccounted for because he can hear Thor’s laughter from three rooms down.

He finds Bruce next, or more accurately, Bruce shuffles into the hallway yawning and Steve spins around and extends his cleaner arm over Bruce’s chest to stop him from walking into the kitchen. Bruce stiffens and then sees the food sliding off Steve and groans.

“Not again,” he says but Steve can see the beginnings of a grin. He grins half-heartedly back and gives Bruce a look that says, yes-again.

Bruce contemplates him for a long moment then gives him a polite nod and slinks off into another room. Steve follows him to the intersection of two hallways and then takes a different course to Bruce and finds himself in one of their rec rooms. It doesn’t look like anyone has raided this room yet because he finds the fridge still full.

“Alright,” he says, hefting a fully frosted cake in one hand. He doesn’t know who made it or why they thought it was a good idea to leave it in the event of a food fight. In the other hand, he shakes up a 2L bottle of soda.

Despite himself, he leaves the room and sets out to find Tony because there’s no one else he’d rather have at his back.

\-----

Steve finds out that Tony is better at hiding or avoiding him that he originally thought because he doesn’t see him in any of the rooms. When he does eventually find him, Tony is crouched under the staircase. Steve’s cake has been pushed into Thor’s face and the soda emptied on Clint’s head so he is empty handed. Tony has flour and jelly on him and something unrecognisable on his shirt.

Neither of them move, just staring at each other. No one else is there. He almost leaves but Tony stops him first.

“Steve.”

Steve stands barely a step inside the doorway and he spends a long moment fighting the need to run.

“Tony,” he responds and he keeps his voice even, his body tensing to poise for a fight or flight situation.

“I-” Tony pushes a hand through his hair and the action twists Steve’s chest in knots and swamps him with the need to smooth it back for him, touch him and kiss him.

Tony clears his throat and tries again.

“Last night-”

“Last night wasn’t meant to happen,” Steve cuts in and Tony flinches. He looks like he’s trying to phrase his next words for a long time and then he just asks, quietly, “why?”

The question catches Steve off-guard and his voice is unsteady on the edges when he says slowly, “because neither of us were in our right state of mind, you’re my closest friend and I can’t-” he closes his eyes and swallows.

“I have nothing to give you, Tony.”

He hears Tony move from under the stairs and then before he realises, he is standing in front of Steve and there are warm, surprisingly dry fingers on the back of his hand.

“Don’t say that.” Steve doesn’t have the control to pull his hand away. He is vaguely aware of how ridiculous this is, standing there with his best friend and the person he loves, trying to sort out this thing they might or might not have while they’re covered in food.

“We had sex, Tony, it was just that. We were drunk. It didn’t have to mean anything,” he says thickly.

“That’s a lie,” Tony says immediately, his voice rough and breaking up around the edges. Steve opens his eyes and stares at Tony.

“You were drunk,” he pleads finally, “you couldn’t have wanted- that.”

Tony looks down at their barely touching hands.

“But I did, Steve,” he whispers, “and I do. I want this. Why don’t you?”

They are silent for a long time and eventually Tony drops his hand away from Steve’s. The loss is almost painful.

“I’m so-” Steve starts and he can’t finish, his voice almost too quiet to hear, but Tony still does.

“Scared?” Tony finishes, his words barely audible. Steve nods very faintly, swallows around the thickness in his throat.

Tony kisses him, doesn’t touch him, just looks up and kisses him softly like he thinks Steve is the most precious and important thing in the world.

“Me too,” Tony whispers against his lips, “terrified,” and Steve finally brings up his hands and cradles Tony’s jaw and kisses him back, kisses him and kisses him and it is better than anything in the world because this time, neither of them are drunk and maybe, just maybe, Tony wants this too.

Steve doesn’t care that they are covered in food and he doesn’t care when there is wolf whistling which sounds like Clint and then something slimy and uncomfortable is thrown at him. He just pulls Tony into the hallway and kisses and kisses him and Tony kisses him back, too.

Tony smoothes his hair back, his fingers the most wonderfully reassuring presence Steve could ask for.

“Of course I want this. I am in love with you, Steve Rogers.”

And Steve doesn’t know what to say to that because he has been in love with Tony Stark for so long and he is terrified of doing this wrong and he is terrified of losing Tony but maybe he doesn’t have to say anything this time so he just kisses Tony again.

And this is his life now, isn’t it, being assaulted by food without warning and out of control family parties, because that’s what they are, a family, and fighting and running and trying to work everything out and kissing Tony Stark in the hallway and not caring that they’re filthy and sticky and Steve thinks that just maybe, he kinda likes it.

 

 


End file.
